THINGS I'VE DONE AT PARTIES

  1. Combed my hair with a fork
  2. Got into a screaming match with a guy in blackface on Halloween
  3. Popped a blow up doll by jamming a pen into it's arm
  4. Stole a framed picture of Dave Grohl as jesus
  5. Had a food fight where the opponent was my pal's house
    There exists of photo somewhere of her throwing a whole pineapple at her own house
  6. Fell down a hole in my friends yard that two of our boy pals dug as a joke
    It's been eight years and the hole still hasn't been filled in. Same house as above.
  7. Stole a remote control
    It belonged to the guy in blackface
  8. Once did Eskimo kisses (the ones where you rub noses together) with a dude for half an hour cause I said "the anticipation will make when we actually kiss unbelievable" but then we kissed and it sucked so I ran off
    Hahaha I still can't believe this happened
  9. Watched a movie in a living room where five rows of couches were stacked on top of pellets in what we called "tiered movie theatre seating"
    Kind of like this except all of the couches were second hand, ripped, and stained with beer.
  10. I once hid under a bed for 45 minutes because I thought it would be funny if no one could find me but no one noticed lol
  11. Spent four hours at a party talking in an "American accent"
  12. I jumped fully clothed into a pool
  13. At a party when I had two broken legs, I told a drunk guy I owed some bad people a lot of money which is why both of my legs were broken and he, not only believed me, but told people to stay away from me.
  14. At another party where my legs were broken, I was flirting hard with some dude in flannel and he took my number. A bit later when I was hobbling to the bathroom on my crutches, I heard his friend ask him if he "got that cripples number".
  15. At ANOTHER party where my legs were broken, I had to crawl up the stairs to their apartment because my friend was laughing too hard at me to help.
    A cute, beardy pal carried me down later.
  16. One time, while everyone was inside having fun, I jumped on a trampoline outside by myself for two hours
  17. Once I was making out with a dude who was so tall he had to sit on a fence to kiss me and in-between kisses he called me a tease so I stood up and pushed him over the fence and then walked off
  18. Fell walking up a staircase and vomited on impact
    👼