My Five Most Memorable Celebrity Encounters.

  1. The time I took a shot at Joan Baez with a BB gun.
    I was 10 years old and she was on my turf.
  2. The time I made Merle Haggard a sandwich.
    A ham and swiss on rye with mustard. A solid sandwich.He wore a trucker's cap that said "MERLE".
  3. The time Bo Diddley gave me an impromptu drug intervention.
    He was playing at a used car lot in Gainesville, Florida. I approached him high as fuck and reeking of weed. He gave me a 15 minute anti-drug speech.
  4. The time I cleaned up Ira Glass's vomit with a snow shovel.
    He was part of Eugene Merman's comedy festival at The Bell House in Brooklyn. He was required to drink for a comedy bit. Ira doesn't usually drink, apparently.
  5. The time I smoked weed with HR from Bad Brains behind a Walmart in Baltimore.