Everything That Concerns Me About "the Cat in the Hat"

  1. Aren't Sally and No Name brother too young to be home alone? What are the social service laws in their town? And is a goldfish really qualified to help in an emergency?
  2. I know that Sally and No Name are longing to go outside, and it's raining, but isn't there one toy they can entertain themselves with so they're not just depressingly staring out the window? Wasn't "Duck Tales" on TV or something?
  3. If a goddamn adult-sized male talking cat breaks into your home and says your mom won't mind that he's there, you calmly tell the cat to get off your property and that the authorities have been called.
  4. There was no way that cat could have balanced all those items on anything AND If that goldfish was truly thrown out of the water that often, he would be long dead.
  5. How do Thing 1 and Thing 2 survive in that box?!? Is there water in there?!
  6. How do they have enough time to clean the entire house from the time the mom got out of her car, in the driveway, and walked to the front door? I'm not rich enough for a driveway, but I've seen them and they are very close to the house.
  7. Where did the Cat in the Hat keep his car parked? Didn't it block the driveway?
  8. When the mom asked what happened, the kids didn't tell her. And that's how predator cats walk free. Great lesson.