THOUGHTS I HAVE WHILE ROCKING MY TODDLER

  1. Okay, big day, this shouldn't take very long.
  2. I should have brought my wine.
  3. Why is she so squirmy?
  4. Please take your finger out of my ear.
  5. Ok, when I said take your finger out of my ear I certainly didn't mean for you to place it in my nose.
  6. The old throw your paci trick. Well, HA HA mom is smarter, I have an extra.
  7. Oh, you threw that one too. Great.
  8. Maybe I should sing....
  9. What are the words to that song again??
  10. Why do you insist on sticking your fingers in my mouth!?
  11. Fine, I won't sing.
  12. Where the fuck is my wine!?
  13. Please stop trying to put your feet under my chin.
  14. Have you even started thinking about sleep yet!?
  15. I wonder if I can reach my cell phone...
  16. YES. Now I can text my husband to bring me wine.
  17. *chugs wine*
  18. Oh my god. She's doing the heavy blinks.
  19. GOD DAMN CAT!!!!! Why would you choose now to knock that stack of books off the dresser!?
  20. Ok, deep breaths. Soothing thoughts.
  21. *hums*
  22. 🙌🏼 SUCCESS.
  23. *stubs toe on baby gate when laying down toddler. Has to start over.*