THINGS I HOPE HAPPEN TONIGHT

  1. multiple people come on to me so I can feel validated or wanted
  2. I do enough drugs/drink enough alcohol so my depression leaves me alone for a couple of hours
  3. there's a party and I can dance there
  4. ultimate form of validation- someone actively seeks me out to hook up with them
  5. no one tries to hook up with me anymore & it makes me question my worth in a lot of ways
  6. am I handsome?
  7. am I likeable?
  8. am I charming?
  9. have I become so absorbed in my various internet personas that now no one can see me for who I am & instead only identify me as someone who is always hiding?