Things I Think Will Help This Headache That Don't Help at All

  1. Wrapping my right hand around my forehead, putting my thumb on one side and my pointer finger on the other side, and squeezing pretty hard.
  2. Grabbing and pulling on the hairs in the middle of my head.
  3. Tylenol.
  4. Closing my eyes and squinting really hard.
  5. Placing the pads of my fingers just above my eyebrows and pushing them up towards my hair line and back down.
  6. Lying motionless on the floor.
  7. Advil.
  8. Drinking more coffee because maybe this is just caffeine withdrawal even though I've already had two cups today.
  9. Pressing my forehead into the wall and leaning forwards.
  10. That bottle of Vicodin I've been saving from my wisdom tooth surgery that had to have expired 5 years ago.
  11. Positive thinking.