My buddy calls me up and I'm...
  1. Optimistic to start!
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  2. After hearing about how his friend's friend's brother was involved...
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  3. Leading into the ex-girlfriend's mom calling my friend's new girlfriend "ratchet"
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  4. Before my friend recounted chewing out his ex for completely ignoring his apologetic text last night
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  5. When my dad is calling me on the other line to update me on my grandpa who's in the hospital, but I don't want to be rude and cut my friend off
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  6. And my friend's now made up with his ex and they're getting gelato together for the first time in months
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  7. And my dad's calling me back because it can't be good with grandpa
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  8. And my friend explains he couldn't decide whether to go with the pistachio, salted caramel, or mint chip...
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  9. And dad decides to just text me that grandpa just died
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  10. And my friend says his girlfriend didn't want gelato because she's on a no sugar, no joy diet
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  11. And my friend says he has to call me back because his mom is calling him on the other line and they're about to get dinner
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