THINGS I WISH WERE ON MY TINDER BIO

A work in progress...
  1. 1.
    Buy me chipotle and you'll get chipot-laid
  2. 2.
    Your shirtless selfies make my vagina close up like a steel trap
  3. 3.
    My greatest talent is the ability to make the simplest task extremely stressful
  4. 4.
    A cup boobs, A+ ass