AN ONGOING LIST OF THOUGHTS I HAVE WHILE ON THE TOILET

  1. why are boogers socially unacceptable -- having a nose naturally results in them???
  2. the woman cleaning the bathroom knows I'm pooping and is considerate enough to put the hand dryer on so we don't have to listen. I'm grateful
  3. when did winking become a suggestive act???
  4. i love the aesthetics of the victorian era. it's a shame the misogyny ruined it.