REAL THINGS MEN HAVE SAID TO ME VIA TINDER (OPENING LINES)

100% direct quotes. This could probably be the start of a series. (a little NSFW)
  1. Come do what you wish to me I'm here to serve you haha
  2. I have no dog, but my cock is really really cute 😉😇
  3. Pretty. Where do you live?
  4. ...
    Literally just an ellipsis.
  5. This app kills my phone. Text me - (•••) •••-••••
    (Number redacted for obvious reasons.)
  6. You look like the next Miss America. Can we bang out, so when you win, I can tell everyone I hit that?
    I haven't ever heard the phrase "bang out" used before or since receiving this message.
  7. I've got a blank space baby...
  8. lol sup girlie
  9. why tinder??? couldnt find a real man huh
  10. How many sea food dinners will it take to turn you into my bedroom acrobat
  11. Kik me good looking
    1) I don't have kik 2) he didn't leave his username so I wouldn't even be able to if I wanted
  12. Congrats, you have the most impressive scarf on tinder.
    Life goals achieved.
  13. you just need a heaping dose of vitamin me
  14. Is your dad a thief? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
  15. So I really just wanna cut to the chase. I'm not really on tinder to meet anyone, because I'm not so sure it's the best avenue for starting a relationship. I am, however, a very sexual guy, and would love to have some fun with snapchat, or whatever. Sorry, just being completely honest. I've never tried cutting straight to the chase, but
    (con't) figured it'd be best so you don't waste your time.
  16. I'd hold the fuck out of your hand
  17. You look like this girl I had a crush on
  18. Tinderize??
  19. You've got the complete total package! so show me what's inside...
  20. Hello, do you have a twin by chance?
    When I responded no, he followed up with "Well, then that makes you the most beautiful girl in the world."
  21. Let's steal a motorcycle and sneak onto a flight to Nepal.
  22. Is it weird if I tell you I love you?
  23. I'm only in town for one night, light my bed on fire.
  24. Hey what's up? Don't think I know you but that's what talking is for
  25. So the baby is yours ha
  26. I'm just gunna throw this out there...I wana be inside u