Things I Overheard at Brandy Melville, or the Inevitabilty of Death
Brandy Melville is an Instagram cult of jean shorts and HAIM hair, hocking insanely soft t-shirts and oversize knits to the Teens of America. I went. I saw. I bought a sweatshirt. I felt SO OLD.
- •"I'm gonna wear this to school tomorrow."- Defiant Tween, To Herself In The Mirror, Re: Minuscule Plaid Tunic
- •"MOM! STOP IT! I can TOTALLY wear this to school!"- Defiant Tween, NOT HAVING IT
- •"School's like, so stupid, but like, North Korea's actually really interesting?- Cool Teen With Septum Ring, Half-Heartedly Folding Bralettes
- •"I would get that except I already have it."- Bitchy Teen Counseling Friend re: One-Size Fits All Turtleneck Crop Top
- •"I thought this store was supposed to be expensive."- Bitchy Teen Tourist With Really Pretty Hair
- •"Yeah but...if I just wore a bra under it, everything would be fine?"- Nervous Teen in Fitting Room, Experimenting With Denial
- •"Babe, these are cool."- Murray Hill Dweebus Referencing Rack of Oversize Flannels
- •"What...what occasion would I even wear this for?"- 40 Y/O Woman in Fitting Room Wearing Giant White T-Shirt/Burial Shroud
- •"Youhave14daystoreturnforstorecredit. Norefundsok?"- Stunningly Gorgeous Teen Cashier/Harbinger of Doom
- •"I really like your nail color."- Stunningly Gorgeous Teen Cashier/My New Best Friend!!!