Things I Overheard at Brandy Melville, or the Inevitabilty of Death

Brandy Melville is an Instagram cult of jean shorts and HAIM hair, hocking insanely soft t-shirts and oversize knits to the Teens of America. I went. I saw. I bought a sweatshirt. I felt SO OLD.
  1. "I'm gonna wear this to school tomorrow."
    - Defiant Tween, To Herself In The Mirror, Re: Minuscule Plaid Tunic
  2. "MOM! STOP IT! I can TOTALLY wear this to school!"
    - Defiant Tween, NOT HAVING IT
  3. "School's like, so stupid, but like, North Korea's actually really interesting?
    - Cool Teen With Septum Ring, Half-Heartedly Folding Bralettes
  4. "I would get that except I already have it."
    - Bitchy Teen Counseling Friend re: One-Size Fits All Turtleneck Crop Top
  5. "I thought this store was supposed to be expensive."
    - Bitchy Teen Tourist With Really Pretty Hair
  6. "Yeah but...if I just wore a bra under it, everything would be fine?"
    - Nervous Teen in Fitting Room, Experimenting With Denial
  7. "Babe, these are cool."
    - Murray Hill Dweebus Referencing Rack of Oversize Flannels
  8. "What...what occasion would I even wear this for?"
    - 40 Y/O Woman in Fitting Room Wearing Giant White T-Shirt/Burial Shroud
  9. "Youhave14daystoreturnforstorecredit. Norefundsok?"
    - Stunningly Gorgeous Teen Cashier/Harbinger of Doom
  10. "I really like your nail color."
    - Stunningly Gorgeous Teen Cashier/My New Best Friend!!!
  11. Everything you should know about Brandy Melville, via @julia//bit.ly/1OagsEc