THOUGHTS I HAD WHEN I THOUGHT MY COUSIN WAS PREGNANT

It turns out she is not pregnant. There were strong suspicions.
  1. Holy shit I can't even take care of me, how can she take care of a kid?
  2. Was is on purpose?
  3. Why?
  4. Can't wait for my mom to start dropping hints about grandkids
  5. Is this kid gonna get more attention than me at family gatherings from now on?
  6. But I'm so glamorous!