THE VAST AND HUMOROUS LIST OF WAYS I HAVE ALMOST DIED

This is just a friendly reminder that it can happen anywhere, anytime. (Edit: man, machines are horrible.)
  1. 1.
    When I hit my head on the corner of a table when I was 2 while playing with this -
  2. 2.
    The year after, when I was 3 I got hit in the bad on accident by a piñata. (Trump style)
  3. 3.
    When I fell down a set of stairs when I was 6 because I was trying to dance down the stairs like I was Fred Astaire.
  4. 4.
    When I was 11 I smacked into a wall right into a side of a house going full speed rollerblading downhill. (I was trying to be a Soulskater)
  5. 5.
    When I was into Fast&Furious Tokyo drift and almost drifted into a barrier divide on the freeway.
  6. 6.
    When I got into a serious car accident when I was 20.
  7. 7.
    When I was 25 and almost drove straight onto an oncoming train.
  8. 8.
    That same year, the airplane myself and my girlfriend took had a malfunction and the airplane started smoking so we had to do an emergency landing.