Grief, 9 months after the fact - this list is mostly a conversation with myself, by the way. Pictures are by "bymariandrew" on instagram
  1. Rediscovering memories can make your day
    Today I spent half an hour reading conversations we had on texting apps in 2014
  2. You still miss them all the time
    Even though you're going about your life with minimal interruptions and you seem fine 90% of the time.
  3. You can feel sad, happy, lonely, comforted, nostalgic and excited for the future all at the same time
    Emotion isn't that black and white
  4. You have the ability to schedule breakdowns, and sometimes you seek out sadness by letting yourself cry, or going through old photos
    And for some reason, it feels good when you do.
  5. Even though the pain is worse than you could've imagined, you're allowed to be proud of how your handling it
  6. You can see the big picture of how they died
    Campaigning for suicide awareness is actually something that is important to you now
  7. But really, you are okay most of the time
    Somehow, grief went from being overwhelming to just being a part of you.
  8. For the first time, you think you'll probably be okay.