THINGS I PROMISED I'D DO THIS SUMMER THAT I PROBABLY WON'T DO

  1. Get drinks!
    I'm basically an old man trapped in the body of a 20 year old with a bad fake ID. change "drinks" to "dollar pizza" and I'll consider it.
  2. Get coffee
    Sitting in Starbucks is invariably stressful for me. If you want we can get coffee at separate Starbuckses and sit in the park
  3. Show you around Brooklyn
    I pretend I know Brooklyn so much better than I actually do. I will take you to Smorgasburg and then walk in a random direction around Williamsburg until I find a thrift shop, at which point I will say "this looks fun!"
  4. Teach you how to wait in line for Shakespeare in the Park
    Just find the end of the line and sit down.
  5. See your one man show
    I've been burned before
  6. Watch the West Wing
    There are too many episodes and I can't resist a spoiler!!!
  7. Get in "shape"
    It's milkshake season 😕
  8. Read "a book" "a week"
    But I can do like three New Yorker profiles. Those go down quick.