BEST PERD HAPLEY QUOTES

thanks @daci @Lindi and @emhoov for this idea and all the Perd love ❤️
  1. "I'm Perd Hapley, and I just realised I'm not holding my microphone"
  2. "A slogan is a series of words that has a meaning"
  3. "It's a heartwarming story but it's just not believable, which is why I give E.T. one and a half stars"
  4. "Issue number one is the first issue we're going to talk about"
  5. "Our next topic is 'Obamacare' which is short for 'Alabamacare'"
  6. "I'm afraid I can't be mayor of Pawnee. My home residence is actually in Wheeling, West Virginia" "You don't even live in the state?" "No, and the story of my commute is: it's long"
  7. "Leslie, for our viewers at home who might not know, are centaurs real?"
  8. "Also joining us today is a different person"
  9. "For a female perspective on this scandal, we turn to a woman"
  10. "Ha ha ha. That's a hilarious image. A foot in a mouth"
    "What? It's a common saying." "Ha ha ok."
  11. "To be honest, Judge Perd is stumped by this case. I've also misplaced my judge hammer"
  12. This isn't a quote but how could I not include this
  13. And this