JOHN OLIVER: INTERNATIONAL TOUR GUIDE EXTRAORDINAIRE

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver features some amazing descriptions of countries, these are some of my favourites:
  1. All credit to this hilarious compilation for this list idea
  2. Canada, it's basically five hockey rinks surrounded by bears.
  3. Mexico, or as you may know it, Spicy Canada.
  4. Cuba, or as JFK used to pronounce it, Booty Island.
  5. Europe, you know, that thing Belgium is in.
  6. Denmark, also know as Wrong Norway, Different Sweden and That's Actually Not Finland.
  7. Scotland, Americans know it as the birthplace of Shrek and that accent you think you can do but actually can't.
  8. United Kingdom, where I am fondly known as "who?"
  9. The UK, Earth's least Magic Kingdom.
  10. The United Kingdom, the slightly damp corpse of the British Empire.
  11. Ireland, Europe's Boston.
  12. Germany, a country whose idea of a bedtime story is two children being left to die in a forrest before being nearly cooked and eaten and then murdering an old woman.
  13. Greece, the most recent Greek tragedy.
  14. Ukraine, currently Russia's fastest growing import.
  15. Russia, Earth's Death Star.
  16. Nigeria, a country whose prince is going to be sending you some of that money he owes any day now.
  17. Israel, drama wise the opposite of Canada.
  18. North Korea, Earth's Florida.
  19. New Zealand, Australia's Australia.