WEIRD SHIT I DID AS A KID THAT MAKES ME WONDER HOW I HAD ANY FRIENDS

  1. Used to spend my £1 pocket money (lol) on a newspaper whilst my friends bought sweets and chocolate
  2. Once asked if I could go to school on a fancy dress day as Anthony Kiedis
  3. Hung out with my elderly neighbours and ate custard creams in their conservatory
  4. Could- and would- quote entire sections of Holes by Louis Sachar
  5. Once made up a dance routine to Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before by The Smiths
  6. Fainted during a puberty talk
  7. Read on the coach when going on school trips and didn't speak to the person sat next to me
  8. Got a ring stuck on my finger, had to get it cut off with pliers and then brought in the broken pieces to "Show and Tell"
  9. Told my family that I had already chosen the names of my 5 (yes, 5) children
  10. Brought my friends to my "party shed" which was a windowless building that we used to store our washing machine. I had put in a CD player and used to play S Club 7 non stop
  11. Did my own talent shows and made my friends judge me
  12. Told people my favourite movie was Dodgeball