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  1. You're a real brat sometimes, do you know that?
    Yes I do and I don't care. (This is a lie I care a lot and I'm working on it.)
  2. You should really think about eating better
    I'm not ready, the thrill of eating absolute garbage all the time hasn't worn off yet.
  3. You should probably write today
    Haha, good one Alexis.
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  1. 4.
    "No, what am I? A fucking sorority girl?"
    - A senior when told that he should decorate his cap for graduation
  2. 3.
    "Bowling is gonna be my hardest class, man."
  3. 2.
    "Do you think science is real?"
  4. 1.
    "No, but he WAS sober when he disowned me, though."
    The intrigue. The scandal.
  1. "A great idea: a tramp stamp of #BlackLivesMatter"
    A good way to show that you support this serious and important topic and also like to have a good time
I've seen some crazy shit on tv and in movies. I feel like these would make my life more interesting.
  1. Being at a party and having someone's shoe fly off and knock me unconscious
    Ok so this isn't really outrageous, per se, but it still makes the cut. This happened to Brittany Murphy in Clueless and a hot dude came and made sure she was ok. The hot dude ended up being an asshole. That part I don't want.
  2. Snakes on a plane
    I get sort of bored on flights so I feel like this would spice it up. I would definitely want Samuel L. Jackson there to handle things and it couldn't be a flight longer than three hours.
  3. Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
    I'm undecided whether I would want the entire scene leading up to this line. But I would like to have the occasion to say this once.
  4. There's more probably
  1. The rare moments when I actually get some writing done
  2. Knowing the bartender and getting $1 drinks
  3. My friends giving me their leftover chicken nuggets
  1. Beyoncé's housekeeper
  2. Mindy Kaling
  3. One of the Queen of England's corgis
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