IUD: A TIMELINE

Warning: TMI ahead. For the record, it was Mirena, and this is my first time and I have had no children.
  1. Picking out my outfit -- went with leggings and a sorority tshirt because I wanted to feel #safe
  2. Ok I'm here. Maybe I should start snapchatting this journey.
    You know, for transparency and stuff. I ended up sending the snaps to just a handful of girlfriends rather than making a story. I thought maybe I'd spare the men / acquaintances who follow me.
  3. In the exam room -- undressed from the waist down and sitting under a paper sheet. Kept my socks though.
  4. Doctor comes in -- HER NAME IS DR. HACK 😶
    She was actually delightful.
  5. STIRRUPS.
  6. Still snapping, but really uncomfortable now. Legs in the air, plastic instruments being inserted.
  7. Her. "Now you'll feel a little bit of cramping, cramping....and PAIN, PAIN"
    Understatement. It feels like someone stuck a finger up inside me and is slowly scratching their way out through my belly.
  8. Me: 🔥😨😭😡😡😡
  9. Me: "I AM NEVER HAVING CHILDREN EVER WHAT IS THIS."
  10. *is no longer snapping*
  11. *is curled up in a fetal position on the paper bed*
  12. Dr: "You can stay there as long as you need to..."
  13. Me: "yep."
  14. I walk home. Very slowly. Stays in fetal position for several hours.
  15. My saving graces:
  16. It's now the next day and I am still in pain, though it feels more like a really bad cramp than anything else.
    It's worse when I'm wearing pants or leggings. Or walking. Or sitting up.