Cautionary advice I like to tell myself (and sometimes others if I'm feeling particularly dark)

You'll recognize this if you're familiar with the re-aired Saturday Night Live Christmas Special.
  1. You know that part where John Malkovich has the SNL staff's kids around him while he reads them The Night Before Christmas with the Santa hat on.
  2. No one I know finds this as funny as I do. He has a weird sense of humor but I like it.
  3. I giggle like crazy when he grabs the Santa hat and goes itchy itchy.
  4. He pauses mid story and says
  5. "You know what they say about hopes, they're what we cling to when reality leaves us nothing else."
    It's very cynical but hilarious and true for pretty much everything in life.
  6. People in my life just expect me to say it now.
  7. I want it on a tshirt with his face and the Santa hat.
  8. Here it is