Inspired by @sswyryt . This will be a trilogy with varying degrees of ghosting
  1. Part one: The Creepy Ghost. This is the first and only time I have ever ghosted someone and I wouldn't do it again. I now know how much I hate the feeling and everyone deserves some kind of explanation.
  2. I bumble matched with a guy named Jon who recently relocated back to my area after working in NYC. We bonded over a mutual love of history, Alanis Morissette, and The X Files. He seemed very intelligent and carried on conversation well.
  3. He wanted to take me to dinner a couple days after we started talking. He was the first Bumble/Tinder dude who asked to go to dinner instead of drinks or coffee. It made me feel very adult! The restaurant was also pretty fancy.
  4. The day of I got this weird feeling and wanted to cancel and everyone was like no he made reservations you should at least try. So I put on my best old navy sweater dress because Rochester was cold as fuck still at this point and marched onward.
  5. When I got there I literally didn't recognize him because he looked nothing like his pictures. He actually looked about ten years older than his 27 year old listed age in his profile.
  6. He led me to the table and mentioned that he already ordered for us and had gotten us wine.
    For the record this is a huge no no for me. Wine was a nice touch but it was a dry red which I don't love but I choked it down because it was the only way to get through this night from hell. But I love food. I want to order my own food and no one will take that away from me. On a slightly positive note, the cheese plate and scallops he ordered were actually very good.
  7. Before conversation really began he asked me where I lived. I mentioned the general area, not wanting to be murdered in my sleep later but he kept pressing. He was like oh my brother lives in an apartment complex in that area and said the name. My apartment complex. I make the wise decision not to admit this.
  8. Jon decides that because I live close I should come over after to meet his brother and sister in law and smoke and meet their golden doodle. I politely decline citing plans with roommates after.
  9. At this point I realize he's already stoned because he keeps asking the same questions over and over and because he takes eye drops out and puts them in at the table and tells me he might have had a little to smoke already.
  10. I start sending the waiter help me eyes and even he can tell I'm having a horrible time. I'm fantasizing about the waiter coming over with a white horse and grabbing me and we run away into the snowy Rochester sunset away from this douche.
  11. Finally the meal comes to an end and Jon offers to walk me to my car. And by some miracle the waiter comes outside and waves is over and he was like Jon you forgot your credit card and he hands me a note and winks at me.
  12. I pretend my phone is ringing and make a dash from my car. The note from the waiter says he kept the card so Jon would have to go back and I could get away safely.
  13. All of a sudden this is very lifetime movie. I almost make it to my car and Jon pops up and goes in for a kiss. I turn my head abruptly and he did this awkward thing where he wound up licking my neck.
  14. After he walked away I locked my car doors, deleted the Bumble chat history and blocked his number and drove around to make sure he wasn't behind me.
  15. Then I went home to my roommates where we split two bottles of wine and two bottles of champagne to block out the night.
  16. The right thing to do would have been telling him I didn't feel a connection and hoping he took it well. He also could have not asked so many uncomfortable questions or licked my neck. Life is weird sometimes.
  17. Part two: The Man Bun Ghost
  18. See this list for that story
  19. Part three: The Most Recent Ghost
  20. We'll call him Mike. Mike and I matched the weekend after St. Patrick's day and had, in my opinion, the best conversation I'd ever had. He gave me his number and the conversation continued but eventually died off about a week later.
  21. In early May, Mike messaged me and said he was sorry he never texted me the next day like he said and that he wasn't sure why he didn't. Our conversation quickly picked back up and he told me that he thought I was witty and funny and really liked talking.
  22. We had a great first date
  23. Continued to talk consistently and made future plans.
  24. I went on vacation to Charlotte and he still texted me every morning.
  25. Then on the last day of my trip he never answered my message or opened my snapchats.
  26. And the next day, my birthday, which he knew of, there was nothing.
  27. Now I'm not some diva from MTV's My Super Sweet 16. I'm 23, it's not a milestone. But I'd like think ghosting is shitty enough, ghosting a girl on her birthday is just plain mean.