1. Today, while Semi Charmed Life played, a 4 year old asked what does go down on mean.
    In my defense I thought he was ptfo in the back seat on our drive home like he usually was. I turned on a more neutral Third Eye Blind song and pretended I didn't hear the question. I don't make enough to deal with these kinds of things.
  2. The 5 year old I watch lectured me about leaving the lights on and wasting energy for probably the tenth time yesterday.
    He's a better person than I'll ever be.
  3. One time I left the stove on after making the kids French toast and the kitchen filled with smoke and a 4 and 2 year old noticed before I did.
    The 2 year old then tried to put me in time out.
  4. The 4 year old told me I looked 45 and 32 when "I try" (when I wear make up) and I wouldn't play Chutes and Ladders with him until he rethought his answer.
    I'm almost 23... It hurt😕
  5. A 3 year old was cheating hardcore at Candyland and instead of being an adult, I hid Queen Frostine in my bra (everyone knows you win with her) and stole the show and the game.