Regrettable Things I've Said in Front of Elderly People in Public

  1. I can't wait to be balls deep in this Chipotle Burrito.
    The (maybe) 75 year old couple behind me in line looked like they wanted me dead and like they wanted to faint. Not a good look to receive. Usually my vulgarity is filtered more based on my audience but I had gone like a month without chipotle okay? My body was ready.
  2. I bet Prince was a great lover.
    My roommates were like Prince was gay right? And I was like uh no? And then the lover comment came out of nowhere from me. This was in line at Wegmans. Whoops. Both the cashier and elderly man in line looked super uncomfortable.
  3. That was just this week
  4. Stay tuned for more