THINGS I NEED TO WORK ON
A pretty personal list, but maybe it'll encourage me to improve myself more than just keeping these things in the back of my mind. It also helps that I'm yet to see anyone I know irl here.
- •My obsession with googling serial killers (sounds bad - I just mean that I'm fascinated by them) and ending up on a Wikipedia spiral for hours, and then being upset for weeks that people could be so awful. I know it's interesting to read about, but it's not very good for me.
- •Being weird about hand-washing - I need to trust that other people have washed their hands properly and stop interrogating my mum about soap.
- •One of my number one faults is saying things with the hope that the other person will respond a certain way - this was a big factor in fucking up a relationship I was in, because I always pictured how they would respond in my head, and it was never quite as good as what I hoped they'd say, which made me weirdly annoyed.
- •Writing more - I want to be a TV writer and writer of non-fiction, so I don't need to practice writing like poetry or a novel or whatever, but I do need to write some things. I have a journal that I've been writing (mostly just about my day) and drawing in recently, so hopefully I can keep that up.
- •Spending hours on my phone and computer and not even really enjoying it, but just being too lazy to stop and do something more fun or productive.
- •Jealousy - I go to a very competitive school, where I think jealousy is pretty rampant, but that doesn't make it any better when I'm jealous of somebody getting literally one mark higher than me in a test, or my feelings of intense jealousy whenever I look at anybody else's instagram. I'm good enough.
- •Kind of like the instagram jealousy, I really need to chill with the FOMO. I like to stay at home with my mum and my cat and my dogs, and just chill the fuck out. Somebody in a club snapchatting me shouldn't stop me from remembering that I have plenty of friends and do plenty of things with them, but I like to be at home as well.