Functionally Depressed™

  1. It's being constantly late to work because you can't will your ass out of bed, but not so late that you lose your job.
  2. It's always feeling like you want to sit down to "take a load off" because you're exhausted even with 8 hours of sleep.
  3. It's often feeling afraid that you've forgotten to take your antidepressants because the withdrawal, which happens literally 24 hours after your last dose, is worse than the depression itself.
  4. It's wondering if you'll ever be able to be a good mom, even though you're convinced that at least part of your depression is caused by not being one yet
    (Yeah I know that's fucked up. Not gonna have a baby to fix my problems I promise)
  5. It's constant cynicism and eye rolling, even if you tell yourself you're going to "show up" and "be earnest."
  6. It's the tiredness you feel when you consider social outings, and the stress you feel when scheduling one (because you think it'll be good for you to get out of the house).
  7. It's your parents saying, well can't you consider going off the antidepressants (the ones that made you able to look at yourself without disgust all the time) and feeling frustrated that they just don't get it.
  8. It's feeling lucky that the weight of the world is off your chest (it used to sit there permanently) but infuriated when it comes back for just a few hours.
  9. It's letting your boyfriend assume you're emotional because of PMS, because it is one of your depression triggers (even though you feel like you're failing fellow feminists by doing so).
  10. It's having enough hope to be crestfallen when you realize that sadness may always be a part of you.