LONG DISTANCE RELATION-TIPS
(worst pun ever?)
- •Ugh so my boyfriend & I have been dating for almost 5 years & we're total high school sweethearts which is both vile & precious at once.I feel like I get a pass b/c I broke up with him to go to college, only to come back for winter break & fall for that boob again.
- •We've been long distance three times now. We definitely struggled through a fair amount of it, particularly when he studied abroad in Chilé last spring.
- •Now we're doing the thing while I live in New York & he finishes out school in DC. Then he moves here ✨
- •But until then, we've found some ways to deal! Here's some tried & true tips for dat LDR
- •Know what your expectations are!!It's important to know when the end date of your time apart is. It's also good to know how often you will visit.
- •Consider seeing a therapist together.I know not everyone has access to this but I think the one session Dan & I did with my therapist helped us flesh out some expectations and talk about some past problems. We both knew the absurdity of it, but we also both benefitted!
- •Figure out your ~love language~There's five of these bad boys, and they really can help you understand how you and your partner expect to love each other. I respond to love expressed through words, while my boyfriend believes love is expressed through time together. Just knowing this helps us to prioritize the things we think are important, and spend less time on those we don't. There's a quiz online that helps you figure it out!
- •Also know whether you and your partner are introverts or extrovertsThe eternal struggle is that I'm introverted & could be alone forever while my boyfriend is an extrovert and is energized by people. Knowing this helps us manage our expectations when we hang out - I'm not always up for a big crowd, while Dan loves that shit!
- •When you're apart, stay in touch.Send each other articles or funny pictures, call after work, send a silly text. Just let them know you're thinking of them.
- •When you're apart, have a life!You have to have things to tell your partner about! Don't stay at home, try new things in your city and see what you like. A LDR gives you a lot of time to figure out who you are, because you don't have to split your time with your babe so much.
- •When you're apart, figure out the sex stuff!Idk masturbate solo, share pics, talk dirty, have phone sex, do what you gotta do! Sexually frustrated is not a good look on anyone 🙃
- •Plan the visits a little, but not too much.This is a weird balance to strike. You most likely want to show them around your entirely new city, but remember that that costs a ton of money and they're not there for that. They have come to see YOU.
- •Consider what they like and have it on hand!Dan drinks beer, but I prefer wine. When I come to visit, he grabs me a bottle so I can unwind from the bus trip. I do the same for him
- •Carve out some alone time.If you have roommates, it can be hard, but this one is pretty important!
- •Idk do you!
- •Being in a relationship should be fun! If it's not any more, you gotta reconsider some things.
- •Go love somebody listers!! 💖✨💖