ON BEING ~CHILL~ (AND WHY I'M NOT)
ManRepeller tweeted an awesome reminder about not being chill in relationships for fear of seeming crazy. It gave me feelings and thoughts and things I wanna share.
- •I'm not a "cool girl." I pretty much never have been and I think it's okay.
- •But somewhere in life, probably from reading too many magazines and lots of cultural pressure, I got it in my head that I had to be a woman who was up for anything, cool with whatever, ~chill~ if you will, so I didn't seem crazy, and obviously then repellent.
- •I often hid my true feelings, especially in my first relationship. This led to me doing things I certainly wasn't cool with.
- •And the pattern repeated itself in a lot of other parts of my life.
- •It could be small: I didn't get a text back from a friend on something important, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to seem crazy.
- •It was also big: I didn't say anything to my ex when I saw him holding hands with other girls at school. I didn't want to seem crazy.I dated that dude for two years??? He cheated on me multiple times???? What was I thinking????
- •But eventually I learned that it's okay to not be a chill person. In fact, it works better for me.
- •There's a quote from a Charlie Brown cartoon that I think of quite often: "Caring is the coolest thing I've ever seen anybody do."
- •I fucking care about shit! I'm not blasé! I'm earnest as hell!
- •And I finally have decided to embrace that.
- •It lets me believe in things.
- •It lets me love with my whole heart.
- •It lets me have real, rewarding relationships when I embrace it, because it means I communicate my expectations and feelings better.
- •And I think that's way cooler than being a ~chill person~