QUESTIONS FOR INANIMATE OBJECTS: SPORK EDITION
Given the option to interview the consciousness of a spork, here are the questions I would ask.
- •So, spork. Let's start with something heavy. With the gender troubles plaguing today, how do you feel about being associated with people who prefer to be gender neutral?
- •Lighter note. Is the variety of you with the knife edge one-upping you out of jealousy for your superior distribution?
- •Will there ever be metal sporks?
- •Follow up to 2. Is the knife engaged in a deeply rooted family rivalry with the spoon and fork families and therefore taking out that repressed anger on the child of both families?
- •So that plastic silverware that looks metallic... Can a spork pull that off?
- •Please explain this. Please. I'm scared.
- •Spork, why are some of your tines longer than other ones depending on the manufacturer??
- •Spork, how to you feel about messing up in autocorrect people who want to talk about a certain Star Trek character?
- •Why has nobody painted a still life of a spork???
- •Spork, do you more resemble a crown or horns when held behind a person's head, in your opinion?