1. My aggressive sneeze broke my birthday choker
    3: ray
  2. If you're in a band and on tinder and attractive, you're practically a Petri dish ripe with diseases
    4: Julia
  3. I’ve changed our name after watching batman vs superman… they are a second rate movie franchise and we are all top rate. I’m the hulk because I hit things and can’t talk right now, David is Iron man bc he’s smart and arrogant… who do you want to be
    5: mom
  4. Go eat some chocolate and be by yourself. It's the only way you'll be safe
    6: Julia
  5. that looks a little georgia o'keefe... all of her paintings are not of flowers
    7: Jeremy
  6. Yeah I only put burts bees on my eyelids
    9: drew
  7. Maybe make her a gift card- good for one new personality
    12: mom
  8. hahaha was your brother a tube of sensodyne tooothpaste growing up?
    13: justin
  9. Definitely chill AF. Like swimming in a warm ocean after on Ambein and a couple of drinks.
    14: brad
  10. Do you think our elf avatars would be friends IRL? Or would they try and eat each other because they’re from different planets?
    16: brad
  11. I think I got kicked out of a bar Or almost did. For falling asleep. I can't be tamed ali
    19: justin
  12. I was nervous my peck injury from January would get reinjured while indoor skydiving
    18: Caleb
  13. My nipples aren't even on my body anymore. They're just so numb they're like gone
    18: ray
  14. If you have a fur coat and nice nails, men will respect you
    19: Ray
  15. My eyes burn with hangover
    21: Jakey
  16. Elaine I even showed you my dimple in that pic
    25: jo
  17. Guys I'm done with this cruise. It's like if you were in prison and guy fieri was the chef
    26: drew
  18. This boat is basically just a floating Golden Corral that you're trapped on for 5 days
    30: drew
  19. I'm just in awe at this wart bandaid technology
    30: joules
  20. Nope I've already dated someone with an ed hardy hair dryer
    31: joules
  21. Call him Ratrick, see what happens
    31: erich
  22. It'd be cool if you put that tv in a corner and this was like a waiting room
    31: nick