HOW TO INITIATE A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION OR SHOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING?
Taking the step to speak up about somethings that feels difficult takes practice, planning and a leap of faith. I've thought about this in my own life --at work, at home, in the grocery store, in the (not so) quiet car on NJ transit. Sometimes it's not an easy path. Here are a few things to consider.
- •Will I ever see this person again?Whether you want or need to continue in a relationship with a person may impact what you want them to do and what you feel called upon to say. Is this annoying and I have to live with it or is this person just having a human moment?
- •How much of this difficulty is in my mind?Have you created a story which serves to reinforce an ongoing pattern? "I always get the slowest check out line..etc"
- •What makes this topic feel hard to talk about?Do you have emotional and especially physical sensations that get in your way when you think about speaking up?
- •Are you sure what you want? Do you have a range of what an acceptable solution might look or feel like? Are you open to a mutually acceptable plan or do you have a bottom line?
- •Don't just plan words, prepare to be fully present and embodied when you speak.You don't know what will happen. If you just prepare your words, it's not a conversation, it's a dump and run. So review the feelings, review your hopes for an outcome. Imagine a life after the conversation