HOW TO INITIATE A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION OR SHOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING?

Taking the step to speak up about somethings that feels difficult takes practice, planning and a leap of faith. I've thought about this in my own life --at work, at home, in the grocery store, in the (not so) quiet car on NJ transit. Sometimes it's not an easy path. Here are a few things to consider.
  1. Will I ever see this person again?
    Whether you want or need to continue in a relationship with a person may impact what you want them to do and what you feel called upon to say. Is this annoying and I have to live with it or is this person just having a human moment?
  2. How much of this difficulty is in my mind?
    Have you created a story which serves to reinforce an ongoing pattern? "I always get the slowest check out line..etc"
  3. What makes this topic feel hard to talk about?
    Do you have emotional and especially physical sensations that get in your way when you think about speaking up?
  4. Are you sure what you want? Do you have a range of what an acceptable solution might look or feel like? Are you open to a mutually acceptable plan or do you have a bottom line?
  5. Don't just plan words, prepare to be fully present and embodied when you speak.
    You don't know what will happen. If you just prepare your words, it's not a conversation, it's a dump and run. So review the feelings, review your hopes for an outcome. Imagine a life after the conversation