TITLES FOR THE MEMOIR I WILL NEVER WRITE

Inspired by @sabrinakristine, @kaitmaree, @k8mcgarry and many others
  1. No, I Don't Want To Go Clubbing For My Birthday
  2. What Would You Do For A Premium Account? The Untold Confessions Of A Spotify Addict
  3. How To Expertly Bring Up Beyoncé In Any Conversation
  4. Where's My Chapstick?
  5. This is my HOME! Coping With The Injustice Of Being Forced To Leave My Favourite Library At 9pm
  6. How I've Successfully Tricked All My Twitter Followers Into Thinking I'm Funny
  7. There's An Emoji For That!