Last 4 Photos On My Camera Roll, Captioned

  1. A well worn 90's Spitfire hoodie my last great love left behind when he moved to New York, aka the "never-to-be-washed-it's-all-I-have-left-of-his-smell" hoodie.
  2. Fb message with my friend Hamish about another ex of mine and his unvaccinated offspring.
  3. Screen shot of my dad during our FaceTime date at the exact moment I told him what screen shots were, that I take ones of him frequently and that he is a minor fb celebrity among my friends.
  4. Dad when he finally embraced his minor celebrity status.
  5. Bonus pic: Selfie with my pal Jeni and what can only be described as a sculpture representation of what the offspring of a huge penis and a seal would look like. Inexplicably located outside Portland's own Skyline Tavern.