1. I physically can't stop saying the N word at an NYC bus stop. It's like my mouth is possessed.
  2. All the straws at my bar were replaced with penis straws.
  3. I'm naked from the waist down in public and trying to make that work.
  4. The tornado I was trying to escape has come to the basement of my bar, where I am hiding.
  5. I'm starring in a play and I don't know the script, but it's about my life.
  6. I enjoy the best meat I've ever tasted at a Mob owned restaurant, then find out it was my twin sister @carlye.
  7. I'm on a reality show that involves people that are bleeding or on fire or both and a real live bear in an enclosed space.
  8. I wake up and it's the dead of winter again in NYC.