People I'm Suspicious Of

  1. The grammar nazi who is now muttering "people OF WHOM I am suspicious. OF WHOM"
  2. People who say "All lives matter."
  3. Adamant haters of The Beatles.
  4. Frequent users of the word "indeed."
  5. Every day suspenders wearers.
  6. Adults who refuse to eat vegetables.
  7. Karaoke regulars who only sing Les Miserables.
  8. Non college students who order Jagerbombs.
  9. Singles ad posters on Craigslist.
  10. Women with zero female friends.
  11. Hover board owners.
  12. Ferret owners.
  13. Adam Sandler superfans who have memorized all of his movies.
  14. Men's rights activists.
  15. Adamant haters of President Obama.
  16. Customers who sip shots.