Reasons I Think I'm Beginning to Get Old
I'm only 32!
- •My hangovers sometimes last two days.
- •I get pain in various joints for no reason.
- •My twenty year old neighbor called me ma'am.
- •When I'm on vacation I go to bed before midnight.
- •I've stopped getting carded.
- •Men who hit on me have started using "who cares, you're too old anyway" when I reject them.
- •I wipe my butt every time I go to the bathroom, even if I just pee.
- •If I eat mostly healthy and exercise a few times a week I will GAIN weight.
- •The idea of figuring out new technology gives me a panic attack.
- •I have an IRA.
- •I've been thinking about life insurance.
- •I speak disdainfully about millennials.
- •My new favorite ice cream flavor is maple walnut.