THINGS I WISH MY CAT WOULD STOP DOING

How can I make this happen?
  1. Waking me up at 5:30 if I let him sleep in my room
  2. Howling outside my door at 5:30 if I don't
  3. Pulling apart and eating all my towels
  4. Eating paper
  5. Eating plants
  6. Biting my nose unexpectedly when giving me kisses
  7. Sitting in front of my tv
    Or behind it because the impending jump over it makes me unable to enjoy what I'm watching