I USED TO WORRY ABOUT...
(vs. What I worry about now)
- •Then: People offline IMing meNow: People that spend time checking if I've done something on another app but not responded to their texts
- •Then: My boobs not being big enoughNow: Be careful what you wish for
- •Then: Forgetting to watch a show and then never being able to see the episode until it re-ranNow: Weekly texts from my dad telling me the current percentage of his DVR storage due to Seinfeld and Masterpiece Theater recordings I insist on him keeping for me
- •Then: How I was going to get into Princeton Med SchoolNow: Hahahahahahaaa
- •Then: My dad finding out that I couldn't speak frenchNow: My students finding out that I don't can't use the word fleek correctly (or any other absurd new words)
- •Then: Having enough cash to pay for a taxiNow: How many ubers can I charge to an expired credit card before they catch on?
- •Then: Getting super super tan to the point of this Africa-shaped peeling that I thought of as a profound battle wound in the fight to be Paris Hilton level orange in 2006Now: Nightmares about having so much sun damage that I must be fully skinned if I want to survive
- •Then: Being able to text fast enoughNow: My handwriting has declined to the point that even I can't read it
- •Then: AcneNow: Is it really worth 5 mins of sleep to wake up with enough time to even look in the mirror before work...? (Also, impending inevitable wrinkles from sun exposure listed above.)
- •Then: People judging me for not drinking alcoholNow: People judging me for not ordering almond milk
- •Then: My life being one long season of "The Truman Show"Now: My life being one long season of "The Truman Show"