LIES I TOLD MY STUDENTS TODAY

  1. I grade homework
  2. Obviouslyyy the sorting hat from Harry Potter isn't real, I just use a device with the same basic ability to decide groups for all projects
  3. When you get to high school and college, bullies get expelled immediately
  4. The phone I use in school is my special "work phone" that I only use to contact their parents and the principal
  5. I'm pretty sure there are "only" two reported cases in the world of people catching A Bad Case of The Stripes
    Because they weren't being true to themselves, of course.
  6. I am old enough to have witnessed dragons roam around in ancient China
    (I am 23)
  7. The teachers' bathroom has a vending machine that takes only kindness coins
  8. I have 4 different friends who have cracked their heads open leaning back in their chairs like that!!!!!!!!
  9. We MIGHT not have a pizza and movie party tomorrow...
    Weekly lie. Sole purpose of half day Fridays is pizza and movie party.