THOUGHTS I HAVE WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP AT 3AM

  1. Mountain Dew before bed was a bad idea
  2. Remember the song "Girl Next Door" by Saving Jane? So good.
  3. Whatever happened to Saving Jane?
  4. Whatever happened to the band Justincase? They were so good, too.
  5. If my last name was Case, I'd never name my kid Justin.
  6. I would name my hypothetical daughter Marty. That's a cool ass name.
  7. Why am I most comfortable with one leg under the covers and one leg not?
  8. Why is Demi Lovato so pretty all the time?
    I mean seriously. It's at the point where it's not even fair.
  9. How did the show Angry Beavers ever get made?
  10. It's Repair Man Man Man Man Man
  11. Fat bottomed girls really DO make the rockin world go round
  12. If I fell asleep right now, I would get exactly 5 hours of sleep.
  13. I do more math calculating my sleep patterns than anywhere else in my life.
  14. I should teach kids real life math lessons. Timmy's alarm is set for 7:50am. At 3:02am, Timmy was still on The List App. Solve for X.
  15. Bad News Bears is a great movie.
    The original Duh.
  16. I will never fucking drink Mountain Dew again.