1. "The shit hath hittith the fan."
  2. "I'm not a pretty guy?"
  3. "What is it asshole day?"
  4. "I know you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?"
  5. "And I'm back in the game!"
  6. "I have a dick on my face, don't I?"
  7. "Kissing? That's what you think happens? I've got news for you. Kissing isn't what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all day long."
  8. "I've got news for you. I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. Mamma didn't raise no fool."
  9. "What is with this chick? Does she have beer flavored nipples?"
  10. "I happen to like being adored, thank you!"
  11. "Do you really wanna get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're forced to listen to a band that, by definition, blows?"