From the world's least fit person:
  1. Ugh.
  2. Ughhhhhh.
  3. Ok, Al, let's do this.
  4. You need to do this.
  5. Just put your gym clothes on and see what happens.
  6. Ok, just get up off the couch first.
  7. Ok, at least stop eating.
  8. There you go. Now close your laptop.
  9. Get up.
  10. That's it, put your gym clothes on.
  11. Ok, well done. You deserve a rest.
  12. I wish just wearing your gym clothes burned calories.
  13. With how tight these are, they probably do.
  14. They're tight because you're fat - you know that, right?
  15. And the way not to be fat?
  16. That's right... The gym!
  17. Ok, get up.
  18. Up!
  19. You know you'll just have to do this again tomorrow, right?
  20. What's even the point if I don't get instant results?
  21. Fuck it, I'm going to have a danish.