CELEBRITY FACE-BLINDNESS: PART I

Awkward interactions I've had with famous people, made even more awkward by my inability to recognize them.
  1. Incident #1
    Several years ago, I was walking through a neighborhood in Lower Manhattan and got turned around. I had an idea of where I wanted to go but thought I'd ask someone to confirm. I spotted a normal, friendly-ish looking guy and began to approach him. Just as I got close enough to realize it was MATTHEW BRODERICK, we made eye contact and he abruptly crossed the street, I assume to avoid me. Guys, I didn't even know it was him! MATTHEW, I'M SORRY, I just needed help!
  2. Incident #2
    I met my high-school BF for dinner when I was eight months pregnant & as big as a barn. He had been the ❤️ of my life & I was a little nervous to meet his girlfriend, mostly because of my horrible Hawaiian-print maternity pants. Afterward, I called my best friend & said, "she was pretty, but she wasn't like a movie star or anything." Fast forward a year or so to me opening up OK magazine & there she is in full color: the woman I had dinner with, UNNAMED HOLLYWOOD ACTRESS, 100% movie star.👀
  3. Incident #3
    Waiting in line outside an ATL auditorium for a book signing, I thought I recognized the woman behind me. Even though she was a bit standoffish, I made some pleasantly lame small talk; convinced I knew her from someplace like Whole Foods or the gym. Eventually, we parted ways & I vowed to give her shade the next time we "met" in Produce. Later, though, a friend who'd seen the whole thing approached me & said, "what on earth were you talking about w/JANE FONDA? She didn't seem at all interested."