DEAR ALLI:

What can I do to avoid a hospital stay?
  1. 1.
    Pack everything you could possibly need for a week-long hospital stay.
  2. 2.
    Complete four-hour, white-knuckle drive to hospital.
  3. 3.
    Find out after appointment that you GET TO GO HOME!
    You have to come back next week, though. 💁
  4. 4.
    Complete four-hour, white-knuckle drive home.
  5. 5.
    Congratulations! You have successfully avoided hospital stay.
  6. 6.
    🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉