HOW I FEEL WHEN CASUAL ACQUAINTANCES SEND ME TEXTS LIKE THIS

When your kid has an illness, everybody has "heard of something that worked for someone else." While I appreciate the concern, I don't care for the assumptions, or the pushiness, especially when I barely know you! This is a word-for-word account of a text I received just this morning, and how I'd like to respond.
  1. "THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR YOUR SON."
    Seriously this is your first sentence? Also second-grade me is not impressed that you skipped the salutation. Go back to letter-writing school, Captain Clickbait!
  2. "I GAVE YOU A LOT OF INFORMATION ABOUT _________________ BUT HAVEN'T HEARD BACK FROM YOU."
    I believe my words to you were, "I'll call you if I have any questions."
  3. "A DRUG NEVER CURED ANYTHING IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD."
    That is a very bold claim, not to mention inaccurate.
  4. "NOW IS THE TIME TO ADDRESS THE SITUATION."
    Oh--you mean I have to address my son's disease NOW? I shouldn't wait? And he's not a situation. He's a child. And I AM taking care of him, with the help of an entire team of physicians.
  5. "I AM ALWAYS HERE TO HELP."
    You are here to take my money.
  6. "I WOULD NEVER SUGGEST ANYTHING UNLESS I AM SURE IT IS WHAT YOU NEED."
    How can you be sure? What if your thing isn't the only thing? What if he needs MORE than one thing? What if what you're suggesting works for someone else, but not him? What if I've tried similar products with no luck? What if it's cruel to give someone false hope? ANSWER THE QUESTION, SIR.
  7. "ALSO, PLEASE GET BACK TO ME CONCERNING THE LITERATURE I LOANED YOU."
    I think I recycled it. 😬
  8. "OTHER PEOPLE NEED IT."
    Please see above.
  9. "I URGE YOU, FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR SON, TO GET BACK TO ME."
    ...
  10. "GOD BLESS."
    😩 probably the worst way to end a passive- aggressive note.