HUMOROUS, FARM-RELATED JAMS LAMBY THE GOAT GOT HIMSELF INTO, RANKED

Requested by @ladyprofessor // ranked in ascending order of danger 🐐
  1. 1.
    Took a drink of my Shamrock Shake.
    Ever since McDonald's switched to that premium cup and added the whipped cream, neither man nor beast has been able to resist this minty concoction.
  2. 2.
    Faked a pregnancy.
    So there was a brief period of time during which I began referring to Lamby as "Our Male Goat Who is Also Pregnant." And even though I knew it was scientifically IMPOSSIBLE, he LOOKED VERY PREGNANT.
  3. 3.
    Squeezed through the chicken door and hung with them all day in their coop like a goat boss.
    Everyone was cool with it, but we still had to get him out.
  4. 4.
    Head caught in the fence.
    Typical goat behavior. *also, this is Lamby's beauty shot and I personally feel that he is doing his best smize here 💋💅🏻📷
  5. 5.
    Hoof caught in an empty hanging basket but he was really chill about it.
    Just kind of went on with his day with three normal legs and then the one completely encased in plastic. Pretty funny, not very dangerous. My kind of jam.
  6. 6.
    Trying to climb up the ramp to the roof, stumbled, and was found DANGLING BY ONE LEG.
    Absolutely horrible. DAMMIT LAMBY why can't you climb this ramp like your brothers?! Do you need glasses?
  7. 7.
    Jumped off the roof of his house because he got too excited when he saw us driving down the lane.
    SERIOUSLY LAMBY. No! Wrong behavior. You cannot just jump off a roof because you love us. Remember yourself!
  8. 8.
    Became trapped underneath the cast-iron wheel of an antique seeder/soil cultivator.
    He couldn't stand up for a few days. The first night it was seriously touch and go, I was holding a pop up shop in another town and all I could think of was sweet, dumb, Lamby and how could this have even happened? He pulled through, though. It was awful. Definitely the worst jam in which Lamby found himself. And the first time I cried over a goat. 🐐 I ❤️ you, you dumb goat, wherever you are. 🌌