MY DEFINITIVE SUPPLY LIST FOR A KICK-ASS SUMMER

For the young or young-at-heart
  1. Pool Pass
    Public pool is best. We're not fancy.
  2. Bike
    This is how your kids will get around. They will fall down. They will need bandaged. You will live through it.
  3. Frisbee
    If you don't have a Frisbee®, how are you going to learn about consequences? As in, "You threw the Frisbee® in the tree? I guess you don't have a Frisbee® anymore."
  4. Telephone
    To be used exclusively for prank calls. Rules: don't call sick people. Don't make fun of anyone or be unkind. My kids' favorite: calling up a local old-lady clothing store and asking "if they carry crop tops for men?"
  5. Wiffle Ball
    Curveballs, amiright?
  6. Tent
    Don't go to REI. Get something big and cumbersome. Actually, just borrow it. Or look in your grandma's garage because she probably has one she'll give you.
  7. Library Card
    Books on books on books. Bonus: Summer Reading Programs provide free entertainment. And: AIR CONDITIONING.
  8. Walkie-Talkie
    Communication is important—and this is so much better than a smartphone.
  9. Push-Ups
    Cheap, humble, drippy. The same qualities I look for in a date.
  10. Body of Water Other Than Pool
    Creek, stream, bayou, lake. A puddle. Anyplace you can collect rocks or critters, sail a tiny paper boat, and/or pretend you are a woodland fairy, Robin Hood, Lewis and Clark, etc.
  11. Flashlight
    Bedtime stories, flashlight tag, spooky things, power outages.
  12. Crafting Stuff
    Paper and markers for all the KEEP OUT signs, treasure maps, ransom notes, and manifestos that are bound to be created over the next three months.
  13. Pop-Its
    Why the hate? I don't know if they're dangerous...but we have a seemingly endless supply. Maybe this means I wasn't ready to be a mother?
  14. Super Snakes
    These will mark up your driveway but you won't be mad about it.
  15. Empty Cardboard Boxes
    One word: forts
  16. Duct Tape
    See above ⬆️
  17. Sprinkler
    The Fun Fountain is the backbone of every good aquatics program. Bonus: clown nightmares.
  18. Board Games
    If you don't have a collection of musty board games that take you right back to rainy- days-with-no -place-to-go, then I don't even know you anymore. Maybe I never did.
  19. Old-Fashioned Tape Player/Recorder With Supply of Blank Tapes
    This is so much more fun that an iPhone voice memo app.
  20. Chill.
    This is for you because here's the thing: your kids don't really need "educational experiences." They need playtime, and you need a break from being a chauffeur. If you can swing it, back off for a few months and just let them LIVE. They will thank you. ❤️
  21. Disclaimer:
    Above statements not evaluated by a physician.