TIMES I WAS HAPPY RECENTLY

  1. When I saw this parking-lot dog with Christmas Spirit to spare
  2. When I found these tiny nun figurines to place in the homes of unsuspecting friends so they would feel subtly shamed for their bad behavior and/or be reminded that nobody ever really solves a problem like Maria
  3. When I learned from Marie Kondo that it takes the same amount of time to fold my plastic bags as it does to wad them into a ball 🙄 LOL RIGHT
  4. When I watched my little girl exclaim in jubilation every time she won a prize, and then I watched her (just as happily) put the prizes back in the machine and do it all over again, and I realized that, having successfully raised a human for whom the joy is in the ride, my work on earth is done.
  5. When I spun this "what will you manifest in 2017" roulette-photo-wheel thing and it landed on CATS
  6. When I gave someone the gift of the Squatty Potty and I didn't even try to hide it with a good wrap job
  7. When my daughter and I went to this guy's house and paid $20 to put on goggles and throw things against a brick wall
  8. When my doctor called after my physical to say my Vitamin D level is pretty low and that also I'm anemic and I yelled PREACH QUEEN because I thought all this sadness was because of the election
    WELL IT WAS THE ELECTION BUT I ALSO NEED VITAMINS AND A BURGER AND FOR YOU NOT TO TAKE AWAY MY HEALTHCARE THANKS