TO MOM, RE: YOUR CURSING

Wherein my son confronts me about my colorful language.
  1. He wrote this letter a few years ago.
    He would have been 10 or 11?
  2. To be clear, the word I used was "pissed."
    ...I was talking with someone else and didn't think he could hear me.
  3. "Dear Mom, I'm sorry I reacted when you said the P word. I just don't like it when you say bad words."
    His reaction was characteristic of the late John Hathorne--justice of the Salem Witch Trials, subject of Arthur Miller's "The Crucible," and all-around antagonistic Puritan. The bright side? He recognized his overreaction and wanted to make it right.
  4. "1. You're in a house full of children, 2. Winnie's here that's being a bad influence."
    So...two kids? Hardly a house-full. How 'bout we revisit this topic when I live in an *actual* shoe and am saying so many curse words you legit don't know what to do? I see your point, though.
  5. "I love you and I hope you get better with saying bad words. I'm trying not to say crap instead I say fudge maybe instead of saying the p-word or any other bad word say something else like (fudge) or Oh Cheese."
    Helping me to problem-solve, offering me alternatives, sprinkling a little passive-aggression in there with the "hoping I get better." 👏🏽 ❤️
  6. "I love you so much and I only hope for the best."
    Best line in this letter. It's like he hasn't given up on me yet, but he's super-close.
  7. He still doesn't like bad language.
    His sister, however, dropped a bomb just the other day before going trick-or-treating. She's nine. 😁 When I called her out, she was all "Mommy, becoming a mime is very stressful. All this makeup is making my face itch, plus I'm hungry and I KNOW you are saying bad words in your mind RIGHT NOW." 👀 GOOD THING BIG BROTHER DIDN'T HEAR. 😎