TONIGHT, PARENTING IS:

  1. ...participating in a funeral for a tiny, hedgehog-shaped eraser named Strawberry.
    The deceased was later found in the couch cushions.
  2. ...being asked if you have ever "tried propane?"
    I think she meant cocaine.
  3. ...denying accusations of having had plastic surgery
    "But your hands are like silk, Mom! And you don't even have wrinkles on your forehead. What is your secret to not looking like a grandmother?" 👀 Ummm, not having grandkids?